Anger Management: An Overview All About Anger Management
What Is Anger:
Anger is a basic human emotion that is experienced by all people. Typically triggered by an emotional hurt, anger is usually experienced as an unpleasant feeling that occurs when we think we have been injured, misguided, opposed in our long-held views, or when we are faced with obstacles that keep us from attaining personal goals.
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
The experience of anger varies widely; how often anger occurs, how intensely it is felt, and how long it lasts are different for each person. People also vary in how easily they get angry, as well as how comfortable they are with feeling angry. Some people are very aware of their anger, while others fail to recognize anger when it occurs. Some experts suggest that the average adult gets angry about once a day. Other anger management experts suggest that getting angry fifteen times a day is more likely a realistic average.
Regardless of how often we actually experience anger, it is a common and unavoidable emotion. When well managed, anger or annoyance has very few detrimental health or interpersonal consequences. At its roots, anger is a signal to you that something in your environment isn’t right. Out of control anger alienates friends, co-workers, and family members. It also has a clear relationship with health problems and early mortality. Hostile, aggressive anger not only increases your risk for an early death but also your risk for social isolation, which itself is a major risk factor for serious illness.
What Is Anger Management:
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological outburst that anger causes. You can not get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Difference Agression, Anger, Rage, and Hostility:
- Aggression is an intentional desire to harm someone, especially a physical or military attack, directed against another person or country, often without provocation.
- Anger is an emotion. It is a temporary reaction to a frustrating situation.
- Rage is when anger explodes into completely irrational behavior and there is a loss of self-control.
- Hostility is a chronic state of anger and antipathy towards people.
Misconceptions About Anger:
- Anger is inherited.
- Anger automatically leads to aggression.
- People must be aggressive to get what they want.
- Suppressing anger is always desirable.
Causes of Anger:
“Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.”
Anger is a response to feelings of unhappiness, which in turn arise whenever we meet with unpleasant circumstances. Whenever we are prevented from fulfilling our wishes, or forced into a situation we dislike in short, whenever we have to put up with something we would rather avoid our uncontrolled mind reacts by immediately feeling unhappy. This uncomfortable feeling can easily turn into anger, and we become even more disturbed than before.
The other main reason we become unhappy and angry is that we are faced with a situation we do not want or like. Every day we encounter hundreds of situations we do not like, from stubbing our toe or having a disagreement with our partner, to discovering that our house has brunt down or that we have cancer; and our normal reaction to all of these occurrences is to become unhappy and angry. However, try as we might, we can not promise that for the rest of the day nothing bad will happen to us; we can not even promise that we shall be alive to see the end of the day.
Different Types of Anger Management:
Each of us develops their own special of anger:
- A person may yell, curse, and offer gestures to other drivers when she/he in a hurry and frustrated.
- A person may shut down in a chair and stop speaking and looking at others.
- A person may take her/his frustration out only on the ones she/he loves.
- A person may disregard the object of his annoyance by reading the paper, forgetting to run an errand, or playing the radio too loudly. When she/he confronted, the response is: I didn’t know; I forgot; I am tired.
- A person may blame everybody for everything and rarely accepts responsibility for his own shortcomings.
- A person may believe she/he has been given the right to seek vengeance in any way for anything by using the excuse: they deserved it.
How Does Anger Affects Relationship:
- Anger can result in domestic violence.
- People who are around the angry person tend to shut down in order not to anger the person.
- Others get their feelings hurt.
- Other people become indifferent, avoid the angry person or lose respect for him/her.
Effects of Anger on Human Body:
- Emotional stress and anger trigger the release of the stress hormone cortisol in the body. A small release of cortisol in the body. A small release of cortisol can give the body a quick burst of energy. However, higher and more prolonged increases can bring into the body many negative effects.
- Anger can create.
- A blood sugar imbalance
- It can decrease bone density.
- Suppress the body’s immune response and make it vulnerable to chronic inflammation
- Slow down the body’s metabolism
- It can impair the brain’s thinking ability and increase blood pressure
- Anger can raise your heart rate to180 beats a minute. It can raise your blood pressure from 120/80 to 220/130, perhaps even higher.
- Anger also cause the problem in circulation. Lack of oxygen can cause severe chest pains. Uncontrolled anger can lead to the bursting of a brain artery resulting in a stroke.
- Tight neck and head muscles can cause tension headaches, migraines, or lead to insomnia.
- Anger stimulates the release of acids in the stomach causing acid reflux and gastric ulcers.
- Anger can also cause problems in lung function and the heart.
How To Deal with Anger:
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are:
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive, not aggressive manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn’t allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile.
People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments have not learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they are not likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
Different Techinques of Anger Management:
Different techniques of anger management that has come up, try the following:
Stop whatever you are doing and get in your body. This will help ground you and bring the intensity of energy down out of your head and allow it to flow through your body. Anger lives in a tight mental state, and by shifting your awareness to your body you will soften the tight grip of your brain and soften into the sensation of feeling.
Get up and go for walk. Take a break from the situation you are in and get your body moving. Again this will help to release the tight mental energy of anger and get your body/mind moving again, releasing the anger into the natural flow of your physiology.
If you are stuck at your desk, take out a pen and paper and start to write. Just write what’s happening in your state of mind right now. Write down the anger, describe it, give it a voice, and express it, all on paper. This will save you from voicing it out into the atmosphere, or from suppressing it inside, both of which will continue to perpetuate further anger.
If you are alone and have room, just get on the floor, lie on your back, and breathe. This may sound strange, but if you can do it, this can help you to calm down and just breathe through the anger state. The breath is naturally calming and by placing our attention on our body breathing our state of mind can more easily settle and soften.
Make good use of humor. This is the most difficult technique to handle anger because you are not feeling funny. To use this technique you will have to come up with something funny. Giving people bad names could relax you and imagining a funny situation could help eliminate your anger.
When angry, people tend to jump to conclusions and often are wrong to do so. Try to understand the reason of an event or the behaviour of a particular person, which triggered the anger in you. Listening to other could help you a lot in this regard.
Changing your immediate environment is another effective technique to cope with anger. If you are inside, move out of the place and if you are already out, try to walk a little, this would help ease things.
Therapy for Anger Management:
This theory helps you to deal with your anger in a more practical way. Given below is the explanation of this theory with the help of an example:
Situation: You are working on an important document, your roommate trips on your computer cord and shuts down your machine.
- Beliefs: Your first reaction is “Dammit, why did he/she do that?”
- Feelings and Actions: You yell at the person who unplugged the computer and blame them for all the work you lost.
- Dispute: You start to question your demandingness: Accidents happen. God knows I am clumsy enough myself. It is not like him/her to do it on purpose.
- Realistic Goals: You decide in the future you would like to have less risk of having your work interrupted and lost by unexpected intrusion without making anyone unhappy.
- Constructive options: Your option for options like moving the computer cord to make it harder to accidentally unplug and saving your work more often.
- Put option into practice: You move your computer cord and you set up your programs to autosave every three minutes.
Anger management Exercises:
- Take a deep breath.
- Relaxing the muscles.
- Wieght lifting.
- Creat a support team.
- Aerobic activity.
Tips to Anger management:
- Find a quiet place
- Take time out
- find fun distraction
- Get exercise every day
- Eat right
- Get enough sleep
- Learn to relax
- Choose friends who make you feel good
- Learn to forgive and forget
- High pay
- A job you enjoy
- Good, comfortable conditions
- Friends at work, interesting colleagues
- Makes me think
Anger management Movie:
- Anger Management (2003)
- Happy Gilmore (1996)
- Click (2006)
- Look Back In Anger (1959)
- The Upside of Anger (2005)
- Rabbit’s Moon (1972)
- Inaguration of plesure Dome (1954)
- Scorpio rising (1963)
- Invocation of My Demon Brother (1969)
- Missoni (2010)
- Flicker (2008)
- The Man We Want to Hang (2002)
- Raging Bull (1980)
- Anger Me (2006)
- Inside Out (2015)
Anger management Quotes:
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”~ Buddha
“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.”~ Thomas Paine
“Do not let your anger lead to hatred, as you will hurt yourself more than you would the other.”~ Stephen Richards
“If people keep stepping on you, wear a pointy hat.”~ Joyce Rachelle
“God created anger to show your conflict not to show your hate.”~ P.S. Jagadeesh Kumar
“If you are upset by someone’s behavior, this only means that you have to work on yourself before you try to correct the other person.”~ Sukant Ratnakar